


Sam 20

by phantisma



Series: Ages [30]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-01
Updated: 2007-04-01
Packaged: 2017-11-14 00:26:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/509373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantisma/pseuds/phantisma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU - Sam's POV.  Sam struggles to hold things together while Dean plots revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sam 20

It was his twentieth birthday. Sam realized it as he pulled into the parking lot at the apartment complex. He sat for a minute, looking up at the window of the bedroom where he’d left Dean that morning. Until a week before he’d believed his brother was dead. That the burned up body the hospital had given him to bury was his brother. Had let himself believe that his brother had given up and taken his own life.

Then he’d woke from nightmares of hell and knew…just _knew_ his father was free. He’d seen the last of his climb, knew he would be taken to the hospital and had barely taken the time to wake Jenny and let her know where he was going before he’d taken off to meet the ambulance.

Sam sighed and rested his head on the back of the seat. Everything was so…wrong…and he didn’t even begin to know how to fix it. He’d flown into the hospital and came face to face with Dean.

But the Dean he’d brought home from the hospital wasn’t the brother he remembered. No, that wasn’t right. Dean was there, but he was…more. They’d pumped him full of sedatives and drugs and from what Dean had said, he’d risen over them time and again, until they couldn’t hold him.

Every gift he’d ever had and a few he’d never demonstrated had surfaced and there were moments when even Sam was afraid of him. Jenny was terrified, and hadn’t come home in the last two nights, preferring to stay with a friend.

With a deep breath, Sam got out of the car and trudged up the steps to the apartment. He could smell something cooking and frowned. Dean stepped out of the small kitchen and smiled. “How’s Dad?”

“Awake.” Sam said, though he got the distinct impression he didn’t need to say anything, because Dean already knew. “How are you?”

Dean nodded and gestured for Sam to sit down at the table. “I made dinner. Thought we could talk. Jenny has Daniel. They’ll be back in a few hours.”

“Talking is good.” Considering that most of their conversations since Dean had found him had consisted of Dean reading Sam’s mind and responding.

Dean set plates on the table and went about pulling a roast from the oven. “I want to start by apologizing.”

“For?”

Dean sighed and handed Sam a carving knife. “I haven’t been very…helpful…I’ve been trying to figure everything out and I have ignored you and Jenny and Daniel. I know you’ve been concerned.”

Dean set a glass of milk in front of Sam and settled into his chair. “Ever since I woke up and Reuel was there, things have been…weird…different. I can hear what people are thinking, feel what they’re feeling. I know things. I see things. I can do things…and the drugs can’t touch me. I tried to get drunk yesterday.”

Sam looked up, kind of surprised. “Nothing happened. I drank a bottle of tequila, and didn’t even catch a buzz.” Dean sighed and picked at the food Sam had put on his plate. “I’m starting to figure out…this was where I was supposed to be _before_ we went up against those two. If…if things had been different.”

“If I hadn’t pushed you into the drugs.”

Dean shook his head. “No blame Sam. And…this demon that came to Jenny? Wasn’t a demon.”

Sam frowned at him, starting to really feel like he was out of the loop. “Okay…I’m really starting to get confused, Dean.”

“I think it was Javal.”

“The one responsible for us being…like we are?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah.”

“Why do you think that?”

“I saw him. In her mind. He wasn’t like Reuel. He wasn’t like the demons. He was…different.”

“Why would he demand she give up Reuel?” Sam could maybe see why though, since Javal had been relegated to sitting on the sidelines, not welcome on either side, and his bargain with Jenny took a soul from hell and ousted an Angel from his host.

“I read human minds Sam, not supernatural beings.”

“Is he just playing both sides now? And throwing us between them?”

“I don’t care what he’s doing or why anymore Sam.” Dean looked at him, and Sam could see a determination in his eyes. “Here’s what I’ve pieced together. MacAfferty was possessed, probably the last year or more that I was seeing her. After I exorcised that demon, another one approached her. She isn’t possessed, but she’s working willingly for a demon named Azre. The demon that stole Daniel and took Dad. The one that wanted us separated, wanted us to each believe the other was dead.”

“Why?” Sam’s eyes widened. “It wanted you. It wanted to possess you.”

Dean nodded. “And she was stringing you along as a back up.”

“Back up. If she couldn’t control you?”

“Apparently, when Javal brought us both back from the brink, he juiced me up. It’s the only explanation I have. I mean, I’d started…if what I did when Daniel was taken was any indication. But I couldn’t control it. Now…”

“But we still have MacAfferty and the rest to deal with. She’s pushing hard, she thinks I know something. She found me with Dad today. I’m surprised she hasn’t sent anyone to check the apartment for you.”

“We need to deal with her soon. We need to get Dad out of there before she sinks her teeth into him too.”

Sam stood up and started pacing. “I’ve been thinking. It shouldn’t be hard. I mean, compared to getting out of the psych ward. He’s fairly stable. He’s in a lot of pain, but he’s lucid and …shit.”

“Shit?”

Sam shook his head. “I didn’t take the meds today. I’ve been…skipping doses…trying to keep ahead of her.”

“And?”

“I have to see her tomorrow. She’s gonna want blood work, since I missed the last one.” Sam turned to face his brother. “We need a plan, a good plan, and we need to go. Soon. Away from here.”

Dean nodded and came to Sam, one hand rising to pull him in close. “I know, Sammy, I know.” His kiss was tender. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

Sam shook his head, even as Dean’s hands cupped to his face. “How? Dean? This is bad. This is bad.”

“Close your eyes Sammy.”

Sam did close his eyes, taking a deep breath as Dean kissed over his face, his lips and hands and mind caressing over him until Sam slowly let go of the fear, and let the loving touch draw him past caring about anything but the moment.

Dinner was forgotten as Dean cajoled him toward the couch. They had ended this, months before it all…though now the reasons were gone and Sam couldn’t bring himself to remind his brother what they were. “Shh…Sammy…you think too much.” Dean whispered, his hand moving between Sam’s legs. “Want you.”

Sam gasped and nodded. He wanted this too. Had always wanted it. “Please, Dean.”

“Easy…right here.”

Before Sam had fully registered it, he was sinking into his brother, wrapped up in his arms and his thoughts. The fear retreated and for the moment, he was content to forget the world outside the door of the tiny two bedroom apartment.

 

Dean wasn’t in bed when Sam’s alarm went off. He looked around, but Dean wasn’t in the room. He didn’t sleep much. Sam pulled on a pair of boxers and padded out into the living room. Jenny was feeding Daniel and Dean appeared with coffee. “Sleep good?”

Sam nodded distractedly and took the cup. “You?”

Dean made a face Sam still hadn’t figured out how to interpret. “So, you have to see MacAfferty this morning?”

Sam nodded.

“Jenny’s going to stay with Daniel.”

“Where will you be?”

Dean smiled. “I’m going to the hospital to see Dad.”

“Dean!” Sam spilled coffee and cursed, then turned to his brother. “You can’t. What if you’re seen?”

“No worries, Sam. I’m going to be disguised.”

“As what?”

“Jenny.” Dean said, as if it made perfect sense.

“What?” both Jenny and Sam asked in unison.

“Just a little glamour. I need to talk to him.”

“You’re insane.” Sam said.

“I’ve heard that before.” Dean said.

“Dean. I…don’t think this is a good idea.”

The air around Dean shimmered and then Jenny was sitting beside Jenny…in Dean’s clothes. Sam stepped back. “What…how…I mean…fuck.”

Dean/Jenny grinned. “I told you Sammy, I can do all sorts of things I never could before.”

“But…how?”

Dean shook his head. “It’s like I have access to all of this knowledge…magic…spells, incantations. Ancient rites and rituals. It was where all the exorcism stuff came from.”

Just like that Dean was Dean again. “I can’t hold it forever, but it should be enough to get me in, and out again.”

“And then what?”

“That will depend on Dad, I guess. I need to know how strong he is. Figure out if my original plan will work.”

“You never did explain that plan to me.” Sam said, crossing his arms. This was going to far, too fast.

“Trust me Sam, you’re going in to face the beast. She’ll find ways to make you say more than you think…and the less you know, the better.”

Sam didn’t agree, but he didn’t argue either. He was getting used to feeling off kilter around Dean. “I’m gonna shower.”

 

Sam still didn’t agree, as Dean sat beside him in the impala, dressed in Jenny’s clothes and looking decidedly uncomfortable. “Okay, so…you’re gonna talk to Dad while I do the thing with MacAfferty? Then what?”

“If Dad’s up to it, I’ll get him out, just like we originally planned.”

“Originally?” Sam looked at him. “Originally our plan involved distractions and at least Caleb and Pastor Jim for backup.”

“Haven’t been able to reach them. They’re still cleaning up after the whole demon war debacle. We left a lot for them to deal with.”

Sam was quiet then. He knew he’d folded before Dean, knew that compared to his brother his own gifts were nothing…and his only purpose seemed to be keeping Dean from self destruction…a purpose he hadn’t been very good at fulfilling.

“You’re wrong.” Dean said softly as Sam turned the car into the parking lot. “You…do more to keep me sane than you’ll ever know.”

Sam nodded, though he didn’t really believe him. “You be careful.”

Dean smiled. “I will be. You too.”

Sam sighed. “I can handle MacAfferty.”

“You’re wrong about your gifts too.” Dean said before Sam opened his door. “They’re just…buried.”

“Because I wasn’t planned.” Sam said. He knew that much. Dean had been Javal’s plan. Sam was…something else.

“Javal was in Mom when you were conceived, just like me. But he’s worked at keeping you from them, the gifts. He doesn’t think the world can handle two of us Sammy.”

“Maybe he’s right, Dean.” Sam said, looking at his brother. “Maybe it’s better this way.”

Dean shook his head. “I’ll never believe it Sam. You’re as much a part of this as I am.”

Sam raised Dean’s hands to his lips and kissed his knuckles. “Whatever you say Dean. I better go. You know how she is when her patient is late.”

 

Sam paced the office. It wasn’t like MacAfferty to be late. It made him nervous. Finally, the door opened and she came in. “Sam, sorry to keep you waiting. I had an emergency in the ward.”

“Nothing too bad, I hope.” Sam said, coming to the chairs across from her desk. She smiled and gestured him to a seat.

“No…just a little altercation between patients. But…let’s talk about you.” She settled behind her desk and opened his file. “Last time I saw you we talked about the meds and how they were affecting you. Has there been any change?”

Sam shrugged. “The nausea’s died down a bit. I’m thinking that it was more the fear over my father, than the meds.”

She nodded distractedly. “Your father. That’s interesting. He’s never been a big part of your life, why would you be so nervous over him?”

“He’s my father…and he was missing.”

She smiled vaguely. “I remember from your brother that you and your father never really got along.”

“Things change.” Sam said, realizing his tone was kind of defensive.

“Okay…so how is it with you and your father?”

Sam sighed. This was not where he wanted this session going. “He’s my father. He’s…a good man.”

“A good man who gave you and your brother up?”

“He knew we were better with Janet and George than with him. It takes a pretty good man to recognize that.”

“Hmm…as I recall, that was more your brother’s position than yours.”

“I’m getting the impression that you would rather be talking about Dean than me, Dr.” Sam said, then kicked himself mentally.

“No, just trying to place your comments in reference to what has already been established, Sam.” She jotted down a few notes, then looked up at him. “You seem agitated.”

He took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. “No…just…tired. I didn’t sleep well last night. Daniel’s teething.”

“It must be difficult, being a single father at your age.”

“I’m an uncle, not a father. And I’m managing.”

“And Jenny? Does she still help out?”

“When she can. She’s got the only income at the moment, so she’s working a lot.”

“Are you planning on getting a job, Sam?”

He nodded, that at least was safer territory. “Yeah. I’ve got a few leads. Soon, I hope.”

“I think it would be good for you.”

Her phone buzzed, and Sam looked at the clock. They had a half hour more. A half hour and who knew what Dean was up to, or if he’d been caught. She looked up at him, then turned away, talking quietly into the phone. When she turned back around, her face was tight with barely contained anger. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to cut today’s session short, Sam. See Karen on your way out and set up another for next week.”

Sam stood slowly. “Everything okay?”

“It will be. Everything will be fine Sam. If you’ll excuse me.”

 

 

He wasn’t even to the elevator when he felt Dean _pulling_ him. As he emerged from the side door into the late morning sunlight, Dean was leaning on the impala, his face transformed into Jenny’s, his hand gestures hurrying Sam along. “Now. We gotta go.”

Sam looked into the car as Dean slide behind the wheel. Their father was laying in the back seat, his face pale under the bruises. “Dean?”

“My glamour slipped. A nurse saw me. We gotta move.”

“MacAfferty.” Sam murmured. “She knows.”

Dean shook his head. “How?”

Sam shrugged. “Don’t know…she just does. Go.”

Two orderlies Sam remembered from his stay on the psych ward emerged from the door and Sam held on as Dean moved them out of the parking lot. “We can’t go to the apartment. They’ll come looking.” Sam said, glancing back at their father. “You sure this was the right thing?”

The glamour faded and Dean’s face grinned at him. “No. But it felt good. Don’t worry Sam. I know what I’m doing.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

Dean’s grin got deeper. “I’m getting ready to make a deal with a demon Sam.”


End file.
